4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
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Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
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I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
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