Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
no you cant smoke seaweed
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
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