Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
