NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
