What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
