I love watching others lives come down to our level.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
