Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
