So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize