i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
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3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I see more hoeing in ur future
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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