please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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