Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Randomize