Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
