Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
