Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
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