Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
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