I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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