If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
