Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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