you guys were way drunker than both of me
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Randomize
