Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I need moral support for this bender
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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