she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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