Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Drunk is a universal language darling
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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