his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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