I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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