i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
She told me I should be a condom model.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Randomize
