My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
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never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
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I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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