o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
