I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
