How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
you will always have a special place in my vag
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize