Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize