The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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