I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
