does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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