do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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