Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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