I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Randomize