i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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