Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Sext me about skeletons
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
