it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
My ass is underappreciated
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
