It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
