I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
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