from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
