Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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