wrigley field is MILF paradise
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
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