You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I am in a vortex of obligation.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize
