So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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