Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Randomize
