Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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