google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
