guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
