Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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