In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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