I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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