ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
