whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
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