Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
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