went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Randomize
