So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
