i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
