I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
this just has baby written all over it
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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