I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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