im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Randomize
