I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
