this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
