I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize