margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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